Frustration And Apologies
It's a happy plus sad and frustrated kinda day today. I don't even understand some people. Why do they have to keep pushing everything to one person? During tuesday when we have to present our future city to other students, everyone kept asking me to go infront and help them present. I did help them when they're making the buildings and stuffs while there are a few who didn't help. I'm totally okay with that. But when it comes to presenting and you have to go infront, nobody wants it. I did ask them to go infront since they didn't helped anything. But all they said were "I don't even know what are you guys making. You guys who make it so you guys are the one who needs to present it because only you guys who know what is that" And then my mind was like "So why don't you help us at first when you know you have to present it if you didn't helped?" And then all i'm thinking was to ask myself to calm down. C'mon. Where is the teamwork? I know you guys are not interested in doing that stuff but i can honestly tell you that i'm not interested in doing too but this is our task. As a team, why must we push this to one person and not helping each other? Alright, nevermind. When it's our turn to present, they asked me to go so without wasting everyone's time i go infront. I didn't talk. The boys talk. After finish presenting, i went back to take my sit and then the person who presents blamed me for not talking and helping him to present while i was the one helping him answering the questions and giving him ideas to present. Teacher said we didn't present well and then there goes my name saying that it was my fault. WTH? It's okay. Don't wanna argue about it. Let's proceed to the next story.
TODAY, there was a BM and English quiz for all of us. And of course, we have to divide ourselves into groups with 6. The rules are one of our team member has to go out and got blindfold. They have to spell out the words that teacher tell either in malay or english. And then, there's no one in my group who wants to go out. Everyone kept asking me to go out and said that "i'm not clever. I failed in English blablabla" And then I replied "Nonono, you guys decide who will go out later. That day present also me, and now also me. Why always me? You guys can't be like this." Nevermind. When it's our turn, *drum roll* no one wants to go out. Ms Wong asked me to go out and then I'm like "No, cannot be like this. That day also i go out today also i gout. It's their turn. It;s not fair being like this" So, Leong went out. Before the second round, teacher gave us a paper with peribahasa and we have to fill in the meaning with the choices given. Oh WOW. Don't wanna talk about this. I haven't finish doing when the second round starts, so everyone kept asking me who wants to go this round. And then they keep pushing here and there. No choice. I still have to go out. The feeling was like asdfghjkl. After that is the third round. After the third round, my team get to enter the final round. They asked me to go out again and i said "no, i went out just now. You guys decide among yourself who is going to go out" I asked them to go out. FYI. I'm not pushing the stuffs to them but please why can't they understand? Just co-operate. Is it very tough? I'm not complaining. I just feel like why this happen.
I really miss during form 1 and form 2 time. During every presentation, we'll go out together and talk or give ideas and help to answer other's questions including teacher's question. I believe no matter how hard the question is, as long as each one of us give some idea, the question can be answered logically. During every game, quiz or competition among groups, we won't push to a person. We'll follow our turn no matter what. You can't run away. Either fast or slow, there will be your turn. You can't say no. It's a must. If you don't know the answer or how to answer, at least you go out. Our groups for sure will help you and won't let you go through it alone. I miss those times. Really. We'll co-operate with each other and for sure the things that happen today or now won't happen at that time.
Alright, i'll stop talking bout that. Just fell very frustrating. Another thing is, to the boy that i deleted his photos, I'm really sorry. Idk how to apologise anymore. Really. When you asked me to delete the photos in the Recently Deleted album, i was like "are you kidding me?" But then i see that you're serious and so i listened to you and covered everything with a smile. I feel so sorry when you say you're just testing me and you're expecting me to ask you to not delete the photos. I'm really sorry. OH GOD. I really didn't mean it. I'm so sorry. It's okay if you can't forgive me. I can't stop thinking bout it. I feel so bad sia. But i keep comforting myself that it's just photos. We can still take pictures again. Memories are more important. But if you say that theres no picture means theres no memories. Doesn't mean that. Only picture will give you memory? No, of course. Even without picture, you still can have those memories in your mind. Really. I know how it feels. But, I'm really sorry. TT